i hate my life. and i hate myself.

amirul and zai did mention before that i will only update my blog when i'm feeling so so so happy and when i'm feeling down/emo and shit. ahahha i guess u palaBs are rite.

i didn't know that this month of july will be my month of losses. Losses in so many forms.

atukayah passed away last week. one love loss. i miss him.

my pink pouch that i left carelessly on McDonald's table, which contains my NRIC, cash, atm card and credit card. fiscal loss.

ash'raff started working shifts. and i'm having too much time by myself that i'm not used to. but still adapting to it.
quality time loss.

k nie nk kena bbual melayu. keje makin bnyk, makin stress. just feel lost. (loss jugak kan).

and today, is my lowest point. can't believe something so small can spark a realization of all these that leads to this shit i'm feeling right now.

oh august, please be good to me.

Goodbye to u atukayah. Semoga roh mu dicucuri rahmat and ditempatkan digolongan orang yg beriman.

Amin.

i swear the weekends feel shorter nowadays. i wish weekends would have an extra one day, so i could spend another day with my bacin boy.

weekends was awesome yo. playing dress up wit u was effing fun. ;) cooking dinner with you ended up with one burnt chicken. lol. fishing is great as usual, but didn't get to watch the sunrise this time as the low tide was damn bad.

and now, i miss you, deeeeeeee. y must your hp perangai!! i want to talk to you, till i fell asleep, so u can hear me snore. hahaha.

many b'dae's are coming soon. 4 more days to dear MF hanom b'dae, 5 more days to my bacin's boy b'dae and 8 more days to dear MF aini b'dae.

and of coz, to Hanom's big day. Her engagement. Congratulations babe. :)

and i miss my MFs. and i can't wait for Bandung this October. i wanna shop till my wallet runs dry.

Oh, next month is our 1 year anniversary. Praying to Allah that we would lasts for many years to come till our hair turn grey.

I WANNA TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!

love u much! =)

i don't know whether i can handle 2010. it's all the same. it's a cycle.

boyfie gave me a good lecture on how i spend my money like water. i totally need that. thank you.

1 more week or so, it will already be 2010. How time flies. And i will be freaking 25 next year! My last year's resolution was not even fulfilled, so i've decided not to make one this year. Let me recap my 2009.

2009's new year was an uneventful one. I remembered feeling heartbroken. And a month later, i finally took the courage to leave. I remembered hating that girl can appear in our lives. Earlier this year, i was getting closer to my colleague, Nadia. I thank God for bringing her to my life. She's an amazing, awesome friend, who i claimed to be my bestie in just a short time of knowing her. As the days goes on, i was introduced to her long time best friend, Ash'raff. Yes yes, my current bf. Went tru shits, being stood up. HAHAHA. i hate u for doing that k! but i forgive u. bluek. Dated for bout 3 mths, and got together in July. Love wasn't just about rainbows and roses. I sacrificed to be the first in your life, out of love, understanding, and taking my chances. It was a crazy decision, which i ponder about for quite a while, and of course, unwanted challenges which tested my faith in you. Ex-es keep coming back, bitches still wandering around, but i still stood my ground, shielding. Alhamdullilah, we made through near the end of 2009, together.

Friendship with my muthafuckas have been better. Even though there are misunderstandings and catfights (haha), i still love each and everyone of you. Hanom, Nani, Rai, Horny. You girls are the spice of my life. W/o u girls, i would be nothing. Always being there for each other. Love love. =) 6 years and counting..

Family, always there. Yes i know sometimes i took things for granted, but i will never forget my responsibilties as a daughter and an elder sister (not a good example though) hahahah. I treasure and cherish everyone of you. Mum, dad, nysha and rina. Love you to bits.

And not forgetting Nurul, who have seen my ugliest side! ahhahahahaah. Jangan putus asa k....me and nysha will always be there.

Wah it seems mcm speech gitu. Some sort of goodbye 2009 speech. hehe.

P/S: Can't wait for 24th, 25th, 26th, 31st.

Love,
Azeana

since i'm so crazy over butterfly, the boyfriend surprise me with earrings and some butterfly thingy which i can paste to wherever i like.



love love....muahhhh :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR NYSHA!!! DAH 22!! LOL!



wish u all the happiness in the world, get married faster so i can have nephews/nieces. :P stay gorgeous!