LiPsTiCks

As 2009 nears to an end...

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:25:27 GMT

1 more week or so, it will already be 2010. How time flies. And i will be freaking 25 next year! My last year's resolution was not even fulfilled, so i've decided not to make one this year. Let me recap my 2009.

2009's new year was an uneventful one. I remembered feeling heartbroken. And a month later, i finally took the courage to leave. I remembered hating that girl can appear in our lives. Earlier this year, i was getting closer to my colleague, Nadia. I thank God for bringing her to my life. She's an amazing, awesome friend, who i claimed to be my bestie in just a short time of knowing her. As the days goes on, i was introduced to her long time best friend, Ash'raff. Yes yes, my current bf. Went tru shits, being stood up. HAHAHA. i hate u for doing that k! but i forgive u. bluek. Dated for bout 3 mths, and got together in July. Love wasn't just about rainbows and roses. I sacrificed to be the first in your life, out of love, understanding, and taking my chances. It was a crazy decision, which i ponder about for quite a while, and of course, unwanted challenges which tested my faith in you. Ex-es keep coming back, bitches still wandering around, but i still stood my ground, shielding. Alhamdullilah, we made through near the end of 2009, together.

Friendship with my muthafuckas have been better. Even though there are misunderstandings and catfights (haha), i still love each and everyone of you. Hanom, Nani, Rai, Horny. You girls are the spice of my life. W/o u girls, i would be nothing. Always being there for each other. Love love. =) 6 years and counting..

Family, always there. Yes i know sometimes i took things for granted, but i will never forget my responsibilties as a daughter and an elder sister (not a good example though) hahahah. I treasure and cherish everyone of you. Mum, dad, nysha and rina. Love you to bits.

And not forgetting Nurul, who have seen my ugliest side! ahhahahahaah. Jangan putus asa k....me and nysha will always be there.

Wah it seems mcm speech gitu. Some sort of goodbye 2009 speech. hehe.

P/S: Can't wait for 24th, 25th, 26th, 31st.

Love,
Azeana

butterfly love

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:03:48 GMT

since i'm so crazy over butterfly, the boyfriend surprise me with earrings and some butterfly thingy which i can paste to wherever i like.

love love....muahhhh :)

can't sleep

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:05:03 GMT

i slept at 10pm, and now i'm bloody awake. can't go back to sleep. first thing i do is reach for my hp to text bb asking whether he's asleep. no reply, means he's in la la land. usually he'll be awake at this timing, prolly he's tired cuz he went fishing earlier. 2nd thing i did was wake nysha up to ask her to sleep beside me, but she just responded with a grunt. means she won't wake up to entertainment my nonsense. 3rd thing i did was shift to my mum's room to sleep, but i forgot that mummy is working night-shift. means i'm insecure all over again. uggh. 4th thing i did was went back to my own bed just staring into space and listening to some filipino main arguing with bf on the phone. it's so eerily quiet and i felt bored. thinking of so many things like why am i bloody awake man, or y did i took 2 days leave and just stayed at home, or y the hell i am broke at this timing. thinking of earlier conversation with eliza, she's getting engaged, so happy for her, but leaving me this familiar feeling of "when's my turn",. wondering of nadia in phuket. she must be really really enjoying there with breathtaking views. till i'm bored of thinking, 5th thing i did was on my lappie and surf aimlessly, going to facebook, facebook and facebook. checked her out again. dun want to become some pyscho bitch but cannot help it. oh and i miss my friends. my muthafuckas. i miss shopping. i miss just going out. i miss ash'raff.

so, i'm chatting with some random ppl at msn. haha. wonder y they're not asleep too.

gd morning.

love love love

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:33:48 GMT

to my baby boyyyyyyyyyyy muhammad ash'raff (nk letak ic no. boleh?)

i love love love love love love love you so so so so so much ok! there's no one else better than youuu. <3.

thank you for always being there for me.

muahh muahh muahh,

miss youuuuu. :P

or is it just me all along?

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:43:58 GMT

i tink it's me all along. or is it that i find it easier to blame it on myself for an alternative for a conclusion. sometimes it's not even a big matter, letting my ego taking over me. but for just an obvious reason. to prevent old wounds from appearing again. but does that mean that i'm not moving on? - i doubt so, perfectly well that selfishly i dun give a fuck bout old flames though i sumtimes do have a soft spot for them. after all, watever happens shapes who we are today. this i agree. . .or does that mean that i'm not being myself? - i fear old, ugly bad habits will only sabotage things and makes things worse. oh believe me, it drove him (was) away and it's not a pretty tale to be telling ppl about. after every fall and broken pieces and picking it up again and broken to pieces again and picking it up again, i tried to be a better person. keeping mental notes on what i should or shouldn't do. wat i could or couldn't do. it's freaking tedious, sometimes all i wanted to do is run away, away from everyone, everything, every sight, every noise, every light. but if i do, does it mean i'm giving up? does it mean i'm not stronger than before? i thought what doesn't kill u makes u stronger? . . . i'm not stupid nor i'm being ignorant. i love the idea of ignorant is bliss. but then i would only be a fool. after everything, i keep asking myself when does this chase end? y am i still running when most are at the finishing line. wat is it that you want me to see, god? wat is it that i still need to do mistakes and learn from it? back of my mind i knew that everything happens for a reason but my patience is running out. or is it that i'm expecting more from you, or have i taken you for granted. or is it the other way round. or is it just a viscious cycle. i bet it is. . . when asked to give some of my lifestyle up, it's not hard, really. in fact it's fucking simple, just let go of it. then y am i hesitant? cuz i need to know, are you worth it?

i wanted you to be worth everyting. i wanted you to be my forever.

but i noe, i am not letting it happen, in a way.

money money money

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:17:58 GMT

this week have not been a good week. i should have listen to nysha. i am only inviting trouble which is totally avoidable. me and my stubborness. haiz. have been broke. money makes the world go round and round. and it actually CAN buy happiness. haha! the other half have been bz working, looking forward to meet during weekends. it's so toturing to not be able to squeeze time for each other. boo! get to meet my muthafuckas. it's been ages since i last saw them, guess it was hari raya? feel so good to be lepaking again. haha! hmmm other than that, nuthing much.

XOXO

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:13:24 GMT

seriously missing this irritatingly lovely adorable annoying boy of mine

meet me halfway~~

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:31:10 GMT

october...

there was hari raya...

raya with family =)

raya with muthafuckas =)

martini night with fizah at Giraffe..

raya with hewitt =)

raya with sweet devils =)

there was Hewitt Retreat Trip to Genting...

and b'dae party with Bb only at O'bar. so much fun, made him drink. haha. love you.

and there was surprise b'dae celebration thanks to babysister, nysha ;)

yup! looking forward to November! (padahal oct lum abis. hahaha)

Stop Me

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:44:49 GMT

SOMEBODY STOP ME

I'M GOING CRAZY OVER ONLINE SHOPPING!!

uggghh

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 09:52:56 GMT

i hate quarrels. esp with boifey. sucky sucky feeling.

Rainbow

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:08:19 GMT

Went Geylang Serai on Saturday night.

Iftar wit Babygirl's Family

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:54:11 GMT

Last weekend went to Nadia's nyai's place to break fast and in conjuction of kenduri cuz her nyai's flying off to Umrah and also in conjuction cuz these two besties have not been meeting up for quite some time. We had laksa (yum yum) and some other food i can't rmb. hahaha.

lepak after buka

that's Nadia's boyfie, Syarul behind us. nk join amik gambar ckp jer lah!

and this is my boyfie. hee hee. *roll eyes*

the besties.

after that head to watch Where Got Ghost. it was quite hilarious. lol.

k back to work. steal some time to blog. heh.

monkey business

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:23:17 GMT

giggles

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:37:03 GMT

u make me feel like a little kid having her first crush. :D

Slamat Berpuasa

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:41:39 GMT

Happy fasting to all the Muslims friends out there. Don't play cheat and pagi2 bukak periuk ok. heheh.

Nurul msn-ed me on the first day of puasa.

Nurul: Kak, you want to go to Zirca? VIP Guest List, free flow of drink all night long. Utt and other hot guys will be there.

Me: Bila?

Nurul: Tonite.

Me: Tak ley ar, gue puasa. hehehehe. Besok nk puasa and besok besok pun nk puasa.

Nurul: Aku main2 jer. sajer nak menggugat kan iman kau.

hahahahahaha. nasib baik aku puasa tau Nurul, mcm nk maki jer.

LOL!

Seoul Garden tmr. Woot.

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:57:17 GMT

ya allah, tabahkanlah hatiku ini.

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 03:07:58 GMT

Just like tip-toeing on a floor full of shatterd sharp glass, trying to avoid it, with no alternate route.

I Remember

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:58:57 GMT

I remember when my heart broke
I remember when i gave up loving you
My heart couldn't take no more of you

I remember when i walked out
I remember when i screamed, I hated you
But somehow deep inside still loving you

I remember when i stormed out
I remember when i gave up loving you.
So sad and lonely.

But i still remember the good and happy times we've shared.

As a friend, I will pray for you, for your safety, for your happiness.

Best wishes.

Coca Cola

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 08:53:25 GMT

Hang out with the muthafuckas except for Nani (boo). Went to the usual place and have a great time enjoying our Cokes and Coke Zero! hahahahah. but i didn't enjoy potato chips raining on my head. bluek. hahah.

ahahaa, lawa jugak eh. and nice perms by the way! :)

i'm so sleepy rite now. had a lovely time wit bb. muacks.

:(

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:26:41 GMT

i don't want to lose you.

aftersolong

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:32:01 GMT

have not been updating......so lazzyy. to say i'm bz, i am not. to say i am not, i am sometimes. hahah

happy birthday mummy and daddy! i promise i will remember the correct dates of ur birthdays! hahaha aper nyer anak.

went to E-hub, Downtown East with family this afternoon.

me and nysha at the bowling alley.

orang minum bubble tea, dier pun sibuk nk minum. cuteness!

where u bringing me girrrrlll??

brother and sis

=)

my weekends were spent with mr ash'raff. <3

and i love hanging on the phone with u for hours while watching tv. :)

lotsa stuffs i wanna do. i wanna hang out with my mfs. i have BTT on the 12th. i wanna watch G.I Joe and Hangover and Orphan.

ermm..ok tat's not a lotta stuffs, but it feels like it.

oh it's already august. how time flies.

i badly want to go and on and on and on and on gloating over it. better not.

Double Payback

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 08:20:10 GMT

heard from a friend that whatever guys give, we give back double.

give us love, we give you our everything
give us groceries, we give you a meal
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give us crap, we give you a ton of SHIT

hahahaha

must be love

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 05:17:53 GMT

trying to resist but every passion and kiss blow my mind like a terrorist
you can be mine on some forever shit
i’m intrigued believe me
trying be tough but the look in your face it’s so delicate
it’s something you doing, got me in trance
you got me running and doing shit I aint used to doing
thinking bout a chance, maybe a slowdance
maybe we hold hands, fur coats and France
go diving on beaches with white diamonds in the sand
then we handgliding over Cannes.

and i can't understand what you doing to me but i like it.

must be love

finally!

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 09:35:33 GMT

Finally! I've booked my BTT for the second attempt to pass it!

After months of being lazy and delaying, tons of nagging,the date have been booked:

12 Aug 2009, 8.00pm

doa2 kan ye. :)

:)

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:05:05 GMT

i noe i should be happy and i am happy.

but

it bothers me that fear still got the best of me.